


Hitsuzen

by PTchan



Category: xxxHoLic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And Himawari too sort of, But he gets by, But there is no shop, Cause Doumeki XD, Drama, Friendship, Gen, Has elements from the Live Action series, Humour, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Or Yuuko, Romance, Slow Build, Watanuki is still a spirit magnet, With a little help
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-05-15 09:20:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5780314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PTchan/pseuds/PTchan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>In this world, Watanuki Kimihiro exists.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In this world, he still draws the evil spirits that haunt his every day. </em>
</p><p> <em> --But in this world, there is no wish granting Shop… </em></p><p> <em>Yet all things are inevitable in the end.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Inevitable

_Ever since he could remember, he could already 'see' things. Things that shouldn't be there._

_..._

_..._

At first it didn't affect him much, because he was just a child, and children normally had hyperactive imaginations.

So when he is seemingly talking to himself, it is accepted as an imaginary friend. A normality for children. If he suddenly says that 'something' is there, people regard it as a desire for attention.

But in the end, it's different; because with him, it isn't just a matter of imagination or a desire to be noticed.

Because being too clumsy cannot explain all the injuries that suddenly appears from seemingly nowhere.

And imagination cannot explain why his arm was nearly broken by thin air.

But it is due to these unexplainable things that other children, other people, no longer desire to approach him.

His parents said that it's alright, that there really are 'things' that other people can't see, and that these things affect how they think.

They would comfort him, saying how sorry they are that he would have to shoulder this burden, that he has to be strong so that those 'things' wouldn't hurt him.

At first he felt that he would be alright. Because his parents were beside him, and they would keep him safe; even when he didn't have many friends, and was pretty much an outcast, and couldn't tell who is there and who 'isn't'.

But then… they disappeared.

And he was left all alone…

\---

For as long as he could remember, he has always 'seen' things – 'things' that shouldn't be there.

He tries to ignore them, but it's a little hard when those 'things', to him, are so painstakingly real in all five senses. Especially when they start to haunt him, hurt him, and say how they want to 'eat' him while doing everything they can to accomplish just that.

He realizes he must look like a lunatic, but he can't help that 'things others can't see' are drawn to him like bees to honey.

At first it was alright. At first they didn't chase him unless he accidentally did something to attract their attention. At first they didn't follow him around trying to hurt him any chance they get…

But ever since his parents died in that horrible accident… protecting him… sparing him while he couldn't do  _anything..._

It became much harder for him to go day-to-day without seeing. Without being chased by things that aren't there. Without being in danger of being eaten or cursed or killed...

There are times when he thinks that maybe he deserves it. That maybe they're there to complete what was supposed to have happened that day. _Since it was my fault to begin with…_

He stops, shakes and clears his head. His parents wouldn't want him to think such things…

He can live every day like this, like any normal –albeit eccentric, exaggerated, and so very  _different_ — boy would.

Still… it hurts that there's nobody out there that can understand the pain he is feeling. It hurts more that when he  _does_ find someone who knows even a bit of that pain, they –he- is one of those who  _are no longer supposed to be there._

"Why does this have to happen to me?" he sometimes cries to himself at night, eyes tightly shut as he wills himself to sleep, wills the demons and 'things' away, letting all his barriers down as he hopes that everything is just a dream, that he'll wake up and his parents are alive and he's just a normal boy who doesn't see and attract strange 'things'.

He doesn't, though.

So he endures it.

And in the end he gets used to it.

* * *

_In this world, the barrier doesn't exist. In this world, the Shop that Grant's Wishes doesn't exist. In this world, Ichihara Yuuko never existed past the end of her actual life many,_ _**many** _ _years ago._

_..._

_..._

Watanuki Kimihiro doesn't see the Shop that day. There is neither fate nor inevitability that connected him to a place or a person that no longer exist. Doesn't exist.

But he is there, and the 'things' –spirits, demons, ghosts,  _ayakashi_ \- are there, and he looks like a complete and utter lunatic running and flailing and screaming in the middle of a not-so-empty street.

He would've cried –like Nobita— if he had to take one more second of the crushing weight of the disgusting creatures on his back (it would have been useless though, not like there's anything to stop them from coming back), but by some miracle or other, one that he isn't quite sure if he should be thankful for, the spirits disappear.

Replacing them is something much more annoying.

"Oi"

He freezes, not wanting to move from his face down position… in the middle of the road...

Of all people to see him like this, it just  _had_  to be  _this guy! Fate hates me!_  He cries in his mind.

"You look like an idiot"

"MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!" Watanuki screamed, jumping up to glare daggers at the newcomer. He felt the biggest urge to bash the guy's emotionless face in and there is absolutely  _nothing_ in his face or body language hiding that fact.

Doumeki Shizuka, however, is unfazed. "You're in the way" he droned, walking around the bespectacled boy as one probably would a dog's leftovers, his face as blank as always.

Watanuki gaped.

"GRAAAAAAGHH!"

And thus, ' _hitsuzen_ ' took its course.


	2. Meeting

_He met her purely by chance._

_Or at least, that's what he thought –thinks—_

_For he does not know that there is no such thing as 'Chance'_

_Only Inevitability_

_..._

_..._

It happened with a torn bag of tangerines; the orange fruits haphazardly rolling down the empty street.

Watanuki Kimihiro paused as one stopped directly in front of him, and he crouched down to pick it up. Down the street was an elderly woman, slowly gathering the fallen fruits with a slightly troubled expression on her face.

It was his very nature that lead to their meeting. "Here, Ma'am" he spoke politely, lowering his own shopping as he helped with the rest of the fallen fruits. With a smile, he extended a spare paper bag he did not need to hold them.

The old woman regarded him for a moment before a smile warmed her face. A hand reached out, but instead of taking the bag of tangerines, she stroked his face instead. "Such a kind boy…" she whispered, stroking his cheeks with aged fingers. "Yet with such a tragic past, and a lonely present"

Watanuki's eyes widened at her words, and he couldn't help but stare as she gently took his hands in hers, knowing eyes tearing up at the edges.

She looked at him, straight into his eyes –his very soul— and her smile grew only warmer. "But do not worry little one, your near future will be bright; filled with warmth and laughter. You will meet people who will treasure your existence, as you will learn to do so yourself" she spoke; caressing his hand once more before releasing it. Gently, she tugged the paper bag from his grasp and stood up, slowly but steadily.

"U-Uhm—" Watanuki began, questions upon questions in his mind at the woman's enigmatic words.

"Rest assured" the woman cut in before he could even begin to form words. "Your parents are at peace" and these words made his breath hitch –whatever it was he was about to say immediately forgotten.

His eyes began to water, warmth filling his heart as memories of his childhood surfaced in his mind. A kind smile, a strong hand. He doesn't know how she knew -not the riddles nor the lack of basis. For some reason unknown to him, he believes her. He can sense the truth in her words, the wisdom in her gentle gaze.

He smiled. "Thank you" he stated. And indeed he was grateful from the bottom of his heart.

She nodded in reply before silently taking her leave, but not before turning back. "Thank  _you_ "


	3. Perplexity

_There's this boy a couple of classes down from him. He doesn't really know why he notices. Nor why he should care._

_..._

His first meeting with that boy consisted of a flying kick and an earful of loud insults; both directed at him for no reason at all.

His first impression was that of a cat; a wet and extremely pissed cat.

The boy was shorter than him, bag and uniform neat and tidy. That boy is reputed to be very lively – at least, if all his exaggerated movements and needless shouting could be interpreted like that.

Personally, though, he just thinks that boy is weird and annoying; the type that he wouldn't normally want to get involved with.

But he couldn't help noticing how that boy seems almost always by himself.

Despite the 'liveliness' and all the expressions he's seen from that boy, there's always been an air of solitude about him.

A secret perhaps. A painful experience. Making him unapproacheable in a way his type of person shouldn't be.

Sometimes he would see that boy walking home alone. And he could see the tension in that boy's body language, like he was on his guard, or he was enduring something.

And then suddenly, that boy would run. Panicked and desperate, as if something was chasing him and that his life depended on it.

He thinks there must be something wrong with that boy's head, but it's only half-hearted. Because even though there seemed to be nothing there, he's learned enough from his grandfather to know that sometimes there are things that aren't 'seen'.

And whenever he sees that boy at school, injured –no matter how minor— and much paler than usual, he can't help but think about it.

Again, he doesn't know why he notices, nor why he should care.

But that boy always looked so lonely. Like he was suffering silently, all by himself.

And then came 'that' day.

...

It was one of those days when he didn't have Archery practice and he was walking home on his own.

It was raining.  _Pouring,_ actually; where anyone who so much as dropped their umbrella would be immediately soaked through.

And there, by the river near the school, was that boy, umbrella nowhere to be seen and school bag forgotten on the wet ground beside him.

The boy was gently cradling something in his arms, and on closer inspection, he saw that it was a kitten. Only…the kitten didn't seem to be moving... or breathing for that matter, and this kindled a sense of pity in his heart. If not for the small creature, then for the boy that cradled it like a precious friend.

It might've been the rain, or just his imagination, but he thought he saw a soft trail of tears flowing from behind that boy's glasses as he held the fragile creature close.

" _I'll die like this too one day"_

His eyes widened slightly as the boy spoke; the words -soft and barely audible- reverberating in his ears even through the pelting sound of rain.

" _All alone…"_

For that one instant, he could feel that boy's sorrow. The pain; the loneliness and grief…

Silently, unseen, he walked away.

He doesn't know why he notices, nor why he should care…

He just does.

* * *

Summer is just around the corner, so is summer vacation. Normally students would be more than happy with this fact. But it seemed a certain bespectacled young man is an exception.

"Aaah…" It isn't really the season itself. Watanuki Kimihiro just despaired at having to play soccer under the sun's scorching heat. It isn't even lunch yet and already he felt like going home. He sighed.

"It's a very hot day today isn't it?" someone stated conversationally and he nodded in acknowledgement, taking the offered towel and wiping his face dry.

"Thank you" He stated, putting his glasses back on as he looked up, and immediately all his fatigue was blown away at the face that met him. "Himawari-chan!" he cried in delight. "Thank you very much!"

Kunogi Himawari grinned. "P.E. classes must've been tiring in such hot weather"

"Yeah, it's really hot today" he nodded fervently, rejoicing at the chance to converse with his crush. "But the girls were doing Gymnastics inside the gym right?"

She nodded. "Yup! But we could see the field from the doorway. The boys played soccer right? I was watching. Watanuki-kun was so cool when you scored that winning shot!" she praised, immediately sending Watanuki airborne in pure happiness.

"E-e-e-eeh?" the bespectacled boy's heart skipped a beat.  _S-She was watching?!_   _She said I was cool!_ He swooned, relishing in the waves of bliss. "I-I'm really not that goo—"

"You two were so cool. You played so well even though you're not in the soccer club!" she stated then, looking around.

Watanuki's daydream wavered just a bit.  _Eh?_  "A-Ahaha! Himawari-chan… I'm sorry. I must've been hearing things, but did you just say… 'you two' " he asked, smiling pleasantly.

"Yup!" the girl instantly replied, sending a pang to his fragile heart. "Ah! Shizuka-kun!" Himawari called then.

And just like that Watanuki's world cracked.  _Sh…shi…shi…kun…_

"That was a great game! You guys did so well"

"Yeah"

Watanuki's face instantly darkened.  _This voice is…_ "DOUMEKI!" he growled, sending a burning glare the newcomer's way.

Doumeki Shizuka is unfazed. In fact, he doesn't even seem to notice. "Kunogi, aren't you supposed to be inside?"

She grinned. "We're already finished so I decided to come out here and chat, right Watanuki-kun?"

At this, the bespectacled boy smirked. "Yes yes! That's right. She's here to chat with  ** _ME,_** which means ** _YOU_** aren't needed here, so shoo" he huffed, stretching his hands out in a shooing gesture.

The taller male regarded him silently for a moment, thoughts unreadable behind his stoic expression. Watanuki couldn't help but fidget at the gaze, feeling his ire rise.

And, as if nothing happened, Doumeki turned his attention back to Himawari. "You shouldn't stay around him too often. You might catch his idiocy" and then he walked away.

…..

"WHAT WAS THAT YOU BASTARD! WHO'S THE IDIOT? AND WHAT DO YOU CARE WHAT HIMAWARI-CHAN DOES?" Watanuki exploded, eyes burning and limbs flailing in exaggerated movements. "AND WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!" he screamed at the guy's retreating back.

Even from a distance, one would be able to see the other's sigh. "If I stay here any longer, I'll be late for my next class" Doumeki replied, looking over his shoulder. "You should get going too Kunogi"

Watanuki doesn't notice the look of solemn understanding on the girl's face as she made to follow. "Hi-Himawari-chan…?" the boy's mood dampened.

 _Shizuka-kun… Don't get too close… Protective… Could it b-be…? A-Are they… but I haven't heard…_ Tears began flowing freely from his eyes as he watched the two go. He could almost feel his soul slowly leaving his body…  _Sweet, Cute Himawari-chan… and that emotionless bastard…? D-D…Date—_

But then, Himawari turned, flashing him one of her sunniest smiles. "I'll see you at lunch Watanuki-kun!" she waved.

And once again Watanuki Kimihiro's troubles are immediately forgotten. "YEAH!"


	4. Drawn

_Through guilt, he has the unconscious desire to disappear._

_The guilt he knows. The desire he doesn't._

_But still, 'things' are drawn to him. 'Things' more than happy to grant his desire. And this causes him pain because he doesn't know that he is the one drawing danger to himself._

_He is unaware that he, himself, is drawn to these 'things'. He, himself, is drawn to those that cause him harm._

_..._

_..._

For him, it was love at first sight.

She's cute. Sweet, kind, bright... every bit like the sunflower she's named after.

He was drawn to her right from the start. He doesn't really care why.

At first he thought he was fine just admiring her from afar, because he wasn't really 'normal'.

But when she talked to him of her own accord for the first time ever, he was on cloud nine.

He didn't realize that it was on that very same day that he became a witness to a gruesome car accident. Or how, whenever she talks to him after that, the 'things' that are drawn to his blood become more and more active.

She's just a cute, innocent girl. She isn't involved.

He doesn't think it's a coincidence. He doesn't suspect she has anything to do with any of the bad things that happen. There was no indication and he doesn't even notice the pattern.

He doesn't know, though, that 'she' does.

* * *

"E-E-Eeh… s-so Himawari-chan has been f-friends with ** _this guy_**  since elementary?" Watanuki asked reluctantly, tears pouring from his eyes as he rudely shoved his chopsticks in 'this guy's face.

"Yup!" the cheery girl confirmed with a smile, sending an arrow straight through the boy's chest even as his tears became waterfalls.

Watanuki couldn't believe it. Of all things, of all people, of all creatures whether seen or unseen… it just  _had_ to be  ** _him!_**

 _B-B-But at least they aren't dating….right? RIGHT?!_ He hoped and prayed with all his might, but he couldn't help feeling his hopes sink lower and lower as he watched the girl of his dreams cheerfully converse with his now most-hated-person-ever!  _B-But what if… what if she actually_ like- _likes him? What do I do?_ He cries, his chopsticks stopping half-way to his mouth in his depression.

He doesn't notice another pair of chopsticks hovering over his bento until after it disappeared with some of his home-made  _tempura._

He gaped. "OI YOU BASTARD! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" he roared, grabbing the thief by the collar.

"Munch"

"THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS ASK FIRST DAMMIT!" Watanuki screamed. "AND WHAT'S WITH THE 'MUNCH'? DON'T GO STATING SOUND EFFECTS BASTARD!"

Doumeki merely plugged his ears. "Munch Munch" he said on purpose this time, sending the bespectacled boy into yet another fury.

Himawari giggled at the exchange. "You two seem to be getting along really well!" she observed happily.

Watanuki deflated, turning to her. "That's not it Himawari-chan! That's not it at all!" he explained moodily.

Doumeki ignored everything, opting to snatch yet another dish from the boy's bento -this time inarizushi. No one noticed how he froze for all of two seconds after the first bite, nor how slowly he chewed, his eyes trained intently on the rest of the dishes, chopsticks raised none-too-threatiningly.

Watanuki was about to yell more obscenities at him, but was thankfully halted by Himawari's comment. "Watanuki-kun's  _bento_  is really yummy! Right Shizuka-kun?"

Sadly, Shizuka's plans were as well, and he lowered his eating utensils, expression never-changing.

Ignoring the  _Shizuka-kun_ , Watanuki soared. "Really? You think so Himawari-chan?"

The girl nodded, swallowing a portion of Watanuki's offered  _Tamagoyaki._ "Yep! It's reealy delicious! Did you make it yourself?"

The bespectacled boy swooned. "I did! If you'd like I could make one for you tomorrow~" he offered happily, floating in pure bliss.

"Really?" Himawari brightened, sending a wave of happiness the boy's way. "I'd love that! Thank you Watanuki-kun!"

Watanuki swooned.

"I want Fried chicken and Unagi" Doumeki cut in just a bit too fast, his tone bordering on hopeful. "And inarizushi"

Not that Watanuki noticed, though. "AND WHO THE HELL SAID YOU GET ONE TOO??!"

But Himawari most certainly did. "Tehee, you two get along so well!"

* * *

_She is no Goddess of Luck. She knows this better than anyone else._

_But she cannot help but pretend._

_Pretend that she can be normal, just like everyone else._

_..._

_..._

She knows he has a crush on her.

Despite how she acts, she is very perceptive.

She noticed him too, during the school's opening ceremony. But it wasn't love at first sight like it was with him though.

For her it wasn't all that special, just noticing one of your would-be-classmates on the first day of school.

At first, he was just that. A normal –albeit very funny— classmate.

One that had an obvious crush on her.

Perhaps this is the reason she started paying more attention to him. She wants to know what it is that he likes about her.

She's curious, because there is very little good about her. She knows that much.

It's not that she wanted to play with his feelings. That's not why she approached him that day. She genuinely just wanted to talk. She'll never deny that she feels lonely sometimes.

What she doesn't know, though, is that from the start she was drawn to him too.

He's a nice boy, she realizes. A very nice boy. Genuinely caring and kind and compassionate… The food he makes is delicious. Filled always with gentle warmth and vibrant passion.

He's lonely too, she also notices. Much like her, even.

And she's sad that such a nice boy would be attracted to her.

It won't last. It shouldn't last.

The first few times, she knows that things are happening. He doesn't notice, and this saddens her somehow.

The sooner he notices, the easier it will be for him.

And for her.

He gets hurt because of her. She can see the signs no matter how much he tries to hide it, so she does everything she can to keep their meetings short for his sake, but she can't keep away from him for too long.

She's no Goddess of Luck. It's a fact that she's the exact opposite.

But…she ended up caring for him anyways.

It pains her, and she wonders when he'll notice. When he'll leave. Or when things will get out of hand and she becomes the death of him.

She doesn't want that. She never wants that. But it's her nature and she's useless to stop it.

She started caring too much. She loves his company, his smiles, and his meals.

She knows she has to… but she can no longer – _doesn't_   _want to—_  break the connection that's already been established.

So she does the next safest thing.

She brings Shizuka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe, yo minna ^^; I just realized I've never really posted a note here yet hehe.  
> Well this fic is actually just a repost from my Fanfiction though, so ^w^
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading XDD I've been rather violently sucked back to the xxxHolic fandom so I really want to recontinue this fic now.
> 
> But for now, Himawari's chapter XDD  
> And I'm sure some of you realized, but I took the idea of Hima and Dou becoming childhood friends from the Live Action series x3 (it's really good in it's own right so I recommend watching it XDD And Doumeki is just... *dreamysigh*)


	5. Purpose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aannd okay! Last reupdated chapter!! I'll have to start writing the rest now hehe ^^;
> 
> Enjoy~

_Through guilt, he had the unconscious desire to disappear._

_And through this, he unknowingly draws danger to himself._

_He is unaware that he, himself, is drawn to those that will cause him harm._

_And in a similar manner, he is repulsed by those that will keep him safe._

_..._

_..._

The first time he met him, irritation bubbled up in the pit of his stomach.

He doesn't know why, but the guy irritates him to no end. In fact, just being in that guy's presence pisses him off.

It must be how the guy's face barely changes no matter what he's doing or what's going on around him.

It must be the way the guy speaks in a tone so flat and apathetic it's impossible for it to  _not_  get on your nerves.

It _must_ be how that guy is, to his complete and utter bewilerment, one of the most popular people in the school and just  _how the heck did that happen?? The emotionless, arrogant jerk??_

He's not sure what  _exactly_  it is… but there's just something about that guy that seriously annoys the heck out of him.

But if you were to ask him directly, his main reason would be this:

"I don't CARE if they're childhood friends! Himawari-chan is too good for him!"

...

He doesn't notice, though, that in his presence, he doesn't worry at all about things 'unseen'.

He doesn't notice that in his presence, he can walk home peacefully… or as peacefully as it is with him cursing and complaining.

He doesn't notice that in  _his_ presence, he is safe; free of nightmares and demons and 'things' that are out for his blood.

* * *

"Shizuka-kun's family runs a Buddhist Temple you see. My grandmother took me there when I was in third grade" Himawari explained, taking a bite of Watanuki's home-made  _bento_. "Yum! This is so good!"

Watanuki blushed. "You're exaggerating" he played modest, genuinely happy that his crush is praising his work. "Heh, so that's how you two met then…"

"Yeah. Shizuka-kun was so cute back then too" she claimed, sending yet another deadly blow towards the poor boy's heart. "I actually thought he was a girl for a while!"

He was resurrected. "Eh? Why a girl?" Watanuki is genuinely shocked.  _Just how the HELL can a guy that could probably pass for a yakuza member **ever**  be mistaken for a girl?_

Himawari grinned. "You see, when Shizuka-kun was a kid, he was always wearing a—"

"Kimono" and suddenly, the topic of their conversation appeared. "Bento" Doumeki stated, staring expectantly at the bespectacled boy, a hand outstretched.

Watanuki was too amused to feel offended. "Eh? What's this, what's this? The great Doumeki wears _girl's_ clothes? I didn't take you as one to dress in drag" he smirked haughtily, chest puffed in arrogance. "By the way. I didn't make this for you, you hear? These are just left-overs from when I made my and Himawari-chan's bento, understand?! You better be grateful that the great Watanuki-sama even thought of gracing you with his marvelous cooking! Now get on your knees and thank me!" he demanded, handing over the extra bento.

Doumeki, once again, ignored him. "My grandfather made me wear them" he explained instead, opening the bento and grabbing his chopsticks. "Itadakimasu"

Watanuki felt a vein pop. "Why you little…"

"You two are such good friends!"

"LIKE I SAID~ that's not it Himawari-chan~!" TTaTT

* * *

_Although it may seem unbelievable, he was born rather frail and sickly._

_There was even a point when his parents feared he would not live very long._

_But through all, his Grandfather believed he would grow up to be strong._

_...  
_

_..._

It was a night of the full moon on the Third day of the Third Month, a night where spirits and ill will are prominent. His mother is not as spiritually sensitive as her father, but even within the temple's barrier and the cleansing festivities, his Grandfather claimed that she was indeed affected by the spirits during childbirth.

 _'You saved her'_ his grandfather would say, an honest smile on his face.  _'If you weren't her son, the delivery would've killed her'_

He would tell him that the reason he was born sickly is because he gave up some of his spiritual energy to save his mother, that this is also a reason why he is not able see 'that' world.

His Grandfather would also say that his aura is pure. Pure enough to keep evil spirits at bay.

_"You have a gift, Shizuka, and you also have a purpose. Which is why you have to be strong for when that time comes."_

He doesn't cling to the words like how most naive children are likely to do -despite his expressions, he isn't too happy having to wear female kimono every day- but he doesn't doubt the words either.

He didn't need to see or sense to know that there are things that cannot be fully explained; the people coming to their temple for blessings and exorcisms are proof enough. He trusted his kind grandfather.

And he is indeed thankful that his mother is safe, whether he truly played a part in it or not.

...

Two people came to the shrine that day; a lady that looked to be about his grandfather's age, and a little girl his own.

Almost immediately, he knew that something wasn't quite right with that little girl despite her bright smile.

His grandfather seemed to have read his mind and smiled. "That girl is human, Shizuka. Just as you are" the man assured.

He stayed silent despite his burning curiosity.

Later on he is asked to serve tea to the guests -his mother being too busy in the kitchen- and then his curiosity was sated, in its place a feeling of confusion and deep pity.

 _"There is no spirit haunting this young girl_ " he overheard his grandfather speak.  _"However, she is destined to bring bad luck to any who are involved with her"_

"Shizuka" he jolted out of his reverie as his grandfather noticed his presence. "Just in time"

With a bow, he opened the door and silently served the already lukewarm tea. He paused as he served the girl, looking up at her face. No one would ever think that such a normal-looking girl could bear such a curse...

"Shizuka-chan right?" he nodded, albeit not so pleased with the nickname. "That's a really pretty name. Mine is Himawari, it's nice to meet you!" her smile never wavered, and he is slightly unnerved that it looked both bright and broken at the same time, unable to hide the moisture forming at the corners of her eyes.

His grandfather chuckled. "It's alright Shizuka. Would you like to be friends with her?" he turned to his grandfather with wide eyes, awed at the warm smile on the man's weathered face.

The girl's smile wavered slightly at this, and he nodded his head with a strong, albeit subtle, conviction.

"I-is it alright?" the old woman who came with the girl inquired worriedly. "If what you said is true then-"

"It's alright" His grandfather assured, his voice tender as he reached down to ruffle his and the girl's hair affectionately. "This child is special"

For the first time, as he saw the true look of hope in the girl's eyes at his grandfather's words, Shizuka started to actually understand everything his grandfather told him. And that, if it really is true, then he is thankful.


	6. Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand yes!  
> Finally a new chapter XDD

_She brings misfortune to all but those who brought her into this world,_

_Just by the very act of speaking, touching, involving herself with others._

_So she endures the knowledge, the loneliness, and –most of all— the guilt._

_For that is the ‘Price’ of her ‘existence’._

-

-

-

“What’s wrong?” Shizuka’s monotone voice snaps her out of her stupor –only half-listening to Watanuki’s usual enthusiastic chatter during their established lunch ritual. 

“What do you mean, Shizuka-kun?” she asks, smiling up at her childhood friend, knowing full well he could see straight through her anyway. Adjacent them it seems Watanuki has grown quiet, and she almost chuckled at the shocked expression on his face when she flashed him a glance.

“You’re worried” her old friend states, and she knows that he already knew the reason –the big picture, if not the details— and her smile fades just a bit around the edges.

It had always been like this. He always knows. In the years they have been together, with him as the only one unaffected by her disposition, he could always tell when something was upsetting her. He could always tell whenever her stomach roiled in guilt and grief and utter despair, and he would always let her know that he was there to listen.

They both know that whatever tragedy happens around her was, inadvertently, _her_ fault, and he makes no move to tell her otherwise. But he sits and listens and stays by her side and says as quiet and peaceful as his name. And that alone is her only comfort outside of her own home.

It has always been that way, between the two of them.

“Are you okay??” something clasped her hands, making her flinch and pull back in concealed horror, shocked when blue eyes stared at her in concern, pale cheeks flushing as he withdrew immediately, his hands which had been on hers just moments before suddenly flailing in front of him. “I-I’m sorry!! I mean, for surprising you and all. But is there something troubling you Himawari-chan? Something I can help with at all???”

 _That’s right,_ she thinks. _Watanuki-kun is here too…_ she stared. It had been so long… _so long_ since she had let herself be involved with someone other than Shizuka that the look on his face –genuine concern, _care_ for **_her_** — stunned her, and she almost felt like crying because… because his hand was warm.

_Aah… this too, this is my fault too._

“Oi” Shizuka called again, dragging the other boy’s (rather loud) attention to him this time, and she felt herself take a deep breath, pursing her lips. “Kunogi?”

She smiled, soft, touched, any other trace of her true emotions hidden under lock and key. “No, I’m perfectly fine Watanuki-kun” she reassured. She glanced at her childhood friend, her smile turning just the slightest bit helpless. “It’s just… I have this neighbour you see? She’s a student like us, from a different school.” she began, deciding to explain. 

Her name was Chikage. She was an old friend(acquaintance). Just last month they had gone out for sweets. “Lately it seems she’s been missing all her classes, even outright refusing to go to school, and I’m a little worried”

“Is she sick?” Watanuki wondered out loud. 

She shook her head. “She seemed fine when I saw her the other day” she does not say how she looked so haggard, so scared. How she practically refused to meet her eyes. “She just doesn’t want to go to school” or leave the security of her own room for that matter.

“Why?” this time it was Shizuka who asked, and Watanuki glared at him with his teeth bared. She couldn’t help but smile slightly at the display. 

“Well, it seems the game ‘ _Angel_ ’ has become really popular in that school, and she said that a lot of weird stuff has been happening there lately” she does not say that _she_ was the one who picked up the book on urban legends that started it all.

“Weird… stuff?” Watanuki asked, anxiety plain as day in his voice, his face paling considerably. “W-W-Weird… how…?”

She smiled, lifeless, empty, just a pull on her lips and said. “ _Scary_ stuff. Like footsteps in empty hallways, flickering lights, sudden cold spells. It seems a window broke once, too” her smile fell. Watanuki’s face started turning a bit blue.

Then suddenly, she glanced at her watch and gasped. “Ah! I still have to go help the teacher before class!!” she announced, a half-truth, and gathered her things. “Thanks for the food Watanuki-kun, it was delicious!! I’ll see you guys later!!” she waved, pasting on her usual bright and sunny smile before rushing off.

And as if his earlier reactions never happened, Watanuki was back to his usual self, waving in that energetic manner that seem unique to only him, making her chuckle even through the guilt pooling heavily in her stomach.

She doesn’t know why she’d told them. She rarely even tells Shizuka about these things. But she was somehow _compelled_ to, and she knows that something bad is about to happen because of it.

But in the end, there’s nothing she can do about it.

“See you later Himawari-chaan!!” 

“Idiot” She heard Shizuka cut in, munching Watanuki’s home-made bento loud enough for her to hear even from a distance in a way she knew he’d never done before the other teen. And as Watanuki began yet another one of his funny rants, her smile softened, warmth taking over just a bit of the space in her chest, along with a stab of pain.

Perhaps she shouldn’t have involved herself with him. Not that kind, caring, blue-eyed boy who deserves to be happy without her misfortune…

“But…” she hummed, putting a skip to her steps. Looking back on it, Shizuka is there too. Her childhood friend, Shizuka, who is always polite, always quiet, and had never shown any actual interest in anyone despite being so popular, has involved himself too.

Quite more than she has, even, it seems, if their closeness was anything to go by.

And as she thought of the two’s growing friendship…

“ _WHO SAYS YOU CAN MAKE REQUESTS, YOU PIG!! BE GRATEFUL THE GREAT ME EVEN BRINGS YOU FOOD AT ALL!!”_

She giggled.

_Hmm… now that I think about it, wasn’t Shizuka-kun really picky about what he eats?_

“Heeh… could this mean I’m not bad luck all the time, after all?”

…

_Please keep him safe. She inwardly prays._

* * *

 

Watanuki usually avoids going out after dark.

Usually he stays at home, double/triple checking the placement of the wards his father had given him when he was very young and ignoring (or doing his best to) the scratching on his walls, the footsteps on his ceiling, the shadows outside his window.

It doesn’t happen all the time. Just most of the time. But he makes sure he is locked up safely at home when night falls, for as much as he still sees _them_ during the day, he only knows for sure they’d be worse after dark.

“W-Well, it _is_ still light out, and I’m just going to take a quick look. See what’s happening. Y’know. Since they’re all just rumours right? So maybe it’s just one of the students pranking people and not actually any o-of _that_ stuff…”

It was just before sunset. Perhaps an hour or so before night falls, when he was sure most students are already well on their way home. The perfect time to infiltrate a school.

 _Nothing to worry about,_ he thinks, his feet moving him onwards down an unfamiliar path to an unfamiliar destination, all the while mumbling to himself things that sounded like excuses even to his own ears.

Still, he never once thought of turning back, compelled as he is. “B-Besides! This is for Himawari-chan! She seemed really worried about her friend after all. A-a-and I’m just going to take a look! Nothing serious… hehe…” Finally, the large building of what has to be the school finally came in to view, half-hidden behind typical stone walls.

He stopped a few paces from the gate, taking a deep breath and scanning his surroundings for a bit, his stomach flopping uncomfortably in his nervousness. _Well… there doesn’t seem to be anything out of the ordinary around here…_

He blinked, brows furrowing as something very strange indeed finally came to his attention. _N-Now that I think about it… I haven’t been assaulted by any spirits yet today, have I?_ “…and usually they’re swarming around me like flies…”

“Who’s they?” someone suddenly spoke from his left, making him jump at least three feet off the ground in shock before the voice finally registered. “Yo”

“DO-Do-do-Do-DOUMEKI!!!!” he cried, unconsciously taking a defensive stance (which, frankly, made him look a bit like an idiot, crouched low with his arms thrown out in front of him in an exaggerated manner). He snapped, pointing a finger the bento-thief’s direction. “Wha-w-WHERE THE HELL DID YOU POP OUT FROM??”

“Too loud” the other teen simply commented, plugging his ears. This only served to increase Watanuki’s growing ire, but he still fought to keep his voice down the next time he spoke.

“Why are you here?!” he demanded. “And what’s with the bow?” he finally pointed out, staring confusedly at the weapon held in the other’s right hand.

As if only noticing the instrument, Doumeki turned to look at it, shaking the wooden instrument a bit. He shrugged. “I forgot to put it back” he stated bluntly.

Watanuki felt a vein pop in his head. _“And you just carried it all the way here??!!”_ Yes, Watanuki was indeed making an effort not to scream… and then he gasped, lightening crashing as a thought struck him. “Don’t tell me… Yo-you’re doing this for Himawari-chan, aren’t you? Coming to her neighbour’s school, bringing a bow to look cool while trying to play the hero in order to gain points—“

“Ain’t that you though?” Doumeki cut in with his usual bland monotone, making a vein pop in Watanuki’s head. “You came because of Kunogi, right? To check what’s going on.”

The other stated it so matter of factly that Watanuki felt the urge to explode in his face… but he won’t deny it. 

He sighed. His mind flashing back to that afternoon, to the fact that his crush, his angel, _his beloved Himawari-chan,_ was troubled and it took Doumeki calling it out for Watanuki to even begin to notice… 

He glared at the big lug, gritting his teeth. _That’s right, they’re childhood friends... In the end there’s an entire world between these two that I can never be a part of..._  He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “You haven’t answered my question”

And as it always seems to be with the bento-thief, Doumeki’s deadpan face didn’t change in the slightest. Even as he said “I followed you”.

Suffice it to say, Watanuki exploded.

* * *

 

_She brings bad luck to all she involves with._

_All except him._

_And so it is his duty to prevent at least the worst from happening._

_If not for them, then at least for her._

_And now, maybe, for him._

-

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-

It wasn’t as though he was watching the other boy on purpose… at least, not intentionally.

It was just that, somehow, ever since the ‘kitten’ incident, he sometimes finds his eyes wandering. He sometimes finds his gaze locking onto that slight figure always in the distance, always alone, and finds himself watching him.

Thinking about him, too, it seems.

Even before Kunogi started speaking of him, of his interesting expressions and funny actions and delicious lunches, Shizuka has already found himself having gathered bits and pieces of information about that boy already, if only through observation.

He already knows how that boy pauses to help an old lady with her groceries or a wife who’d dropped her ring. Stops at everything from a bullied dog to a frightened child to a depressed salary man. Once he even dropped everything to rush a woman to the hospital after she fell in front of moving traffic.

Shizuka had spied all these things from afar, just chance sightings on his walks home while running errands, and he knew that that boy wears his heart on his sleeve.

Sometimes he even sees that boy talking to ‘things’ that Shizuka couldn’t see, and it is at these times he feels the strongest urge to run over to him, to drive away all things unseen for he knows, he could tell for certain from the cuts and bruises and bandages hidden under his school uniform each day, that that boy had no sense of self-preservation whatsoever.

But he didn’t, and the only reason he could think of as to _why_ is that it was simply not his place.

And then Kunogi starts speaking to him. Starts interacting with him. Starts becoming involved with him and he already deals with so much _misfortune_ already and Kunogi…

Kunogi is _happy_. Something she rarely ever is. Something Shizuka had long since taken on as his duty to make her even just a little.

And as much as Shizuka wants to keep them apart for their own good, it was also not his place to do so. 

He couldn’t deny that, just by looking, he could tell they were _good_ for each other.

And so he takes up a role. Puts himself between them if just so they can stay in each other’s presence. Focuses more on him and his situation to make sure her misfortune doesn’t touch him. Endures his verbal abuse and aggressive actions and words of dismay and dislike just to see her laugh in genuine delight –which for her is very rare indeed.

And if he makes it his place, if he is content with his role, if he ends up becoming far too attached to that boy in a way that is similar –yet not— to his attachment to that girl, then he simply accepts it.

And if this place, this role, finally, _finally_ , allowed him to walk that boy home, to drag him away from unseen dangers, to help him out of trouble even if that boy refuses to ask or acknowledge, then he is relieved.

And if he gets hurt in the process, then so be it.

* * *

 

_One who attracts spirits._

_One who drives them away._

_And one still who paves the path must take._

_It was all inevitable, in the end._

-

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-

“…you’re an idiot” he mumbled out on the way home, barely a scratch on his person despite being assaulted by angry spirit-things and a giant black snake.

“Hn?”

“I SAID You’re an IDIOT!!” he snapped, looking away to hide the growing flush on his cheeks, as well as his guilt. “You shouldn’t have come”

“Oh?”

“YES!” he growled, still feeling the tingle of a hand clamped tightly around his wrist, keeping him from plummeting into his death from the school roof. “Now you have a broken arm, and your bow just vanished into thin air, and isn’t there an archery competition in a few days?!” he clenched his fist, trying to keep the growing pit in his stomach from swallowing him whole.

_This is my fault…_

“Didn’t you say it was eaten though?”

He paused and stared. “…huh?”

“My bow. You said that it was eaten. By a giant snake.” Doumeki pointed out, cradling his injured arm to his chest without a hint of pain in his expression.

Watanuki gulped, turning away. “E-Eh? Y-you don’t really believe in t-that stuff, though, d-do you? W-why the hell would there be a giant snake in a school’s roof? And one big enough to swallow a bow whole, for that matter?” he kept on walking.

“Hmm”

Watanuki’s brow twitched at the imperceptible grunt. _At least comment on something, dammit!!_ But he let it go, instead opting to ask “What do you want? For tomorrow’s _bento_.”

Silence reached his ears in reply, and he resisted the urge to take a peek at his companion. If it weren’t for the sound of footsteps beside him, he would’ve thought he was alone.

“Tamagoyaki…” and then the other teen started talking. “onigiri, yellow-tail and daikon radish, chicken teriyaki, shrimp tempura, potato salad, shiitake-mushrooms, unagi, salmon roe—“

“THAT’S WAY TOO MUCH YOU GLUTTON!!!” finally Watanuki did scream, turning to glare daggers at the lush, to hell that he might wake someone up. “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK I’M RUNNING? A CATERING SERVICE??!!”

“Then you decide” Doumeki simply commented, not even looking at him and effectively shutting him up. “But don’t forget the inarizushi and salmon”

“So it’s like that, huh…?” Watanuki sighed, letting his arms fall limp in front of him. “Fine. You better be grateful you big lug, for tomorrow, I, the great Watanuki-sama, has deemed you worthy of his legendary cooking!!!”

“Hn. …Also mitarashi dango”

 _Snap_.

“WHY YOU—!!!”


End file.
